Sometimes, I walk through the mall to get to the bus terminal to look in my favorite stores. I breathe in the scent, stop blinking, and touch the fabric, all while walking very quickly so that I do not spend money I do not have. Some of you probably think I'm kidding, but I'm really not. Serinda knows this addiction of mine is no joke. After living with her for about a year, I wonder how long it was until she started to notice my 'shame shopping'. We have never spoken about my closet addiction, (mind the pun) but I know she knows.
I would go shopping, back in that time of my life when I had time and money, at least once a week. If I just bought one or two items, I could usually stuff them into my purse so she wouldn't notice when I came in the door. More often than not, I would have six or seven items, so when I returned from work at 2am, I'd just bring them inside them. On Mondays, when I had the house to myself, I would dispose of all the shopping bags and take out the recycling. Serinda was too kind to ever call me on it, although her adorable, observant 4 year old usually blew my cover with something like this:
Abby "Auntie, is that a new dress? I've never seen that before!"
Nunu " Oh, this old thing? No...besides it's for work! "
Abby " No, I don't think so. I've never seen it before "
Nunu " Well it was on sale for $ ( insert real price - $40 ), so I had to! "
It's been very, very hard for me to stop the shopping thing since I've become a student. Luckily, school keeps me very busy and away from temptation. And it has made me realize that it can be superficial and unnecessary. But oh, how I miss it; how my heart aches.
I think when I start waxing poetic is a good time to stop.