1. I LOVE stand up comedy. I have not yet had the chance to see any live shows. The opportunity just hasn't presented itself to me yet. And, I am a little worried that it might ruin it for me, and that would be oh so tragic. One of my recent faves, although he is no longer with us, the very sarcastic Mr. Mitch Hedberg. Search him on YouTube, and you will not be disappointed. One of his best jokes: " I find that a duck's opinion of me is strongly influenced by wether or not I have bread. The fact that a duck does not have the ability to get bread for himself is the biggest joke on the duck ever. Like, if I owned a convenience store, and a duck walked in and grabbed a loaf of bread in his beak, I would let him go." Do yourself a favor, and check out his stuff, cause it's all in the delivery.
2. I am a very good speller. Ever since I was...well born, I suppose. ( Just kidding ) I can remember my older sisters asking me how to spell things when I was 7 years old. Unfortunately, this skill does not amount to much in this technological age, and has yet to earn me an income. Also, Patience used to ask me for help with her theory homework. Mrs. Jardine was always such a stickler.
3. I can clean a kitchen in the blink of an eye. Always put food away first, do the dishes, wipe the counters, sweep, and wipe up any spills with a wet rag. Mop only if necessary. Always in this order. Don't even think about it, just do it.
4. I have only recently discovered the deliciousness that is almond butter. I don't know why I've never tried it earlier, I just never got around to it. It is so freaking good. I buy it now instead of Nutella. While it's just as equally fattening, I argue that it's not as bad, because there is no sugar. I like it best with rice crackers. Mmmm.
5. If you ever sit down or place anything on my perfectly made bed, I will clench my teeth and veins will pop in my forehead. That is, unless, I feel I know you well enough, and then I will scream in disgust at the horrendous thing you have just done. I'm sorry, I know it's completely insane, it's just my instincts.
6. I really like boys, and I wish I didn't. It would be so much easier if I just didn't care.