Sunday, September 28, 2008

Point - Counterpoint


You are good to me. We can talk for hours with no effort at all. You help me study, you buy me birthday presents, you take me out for breakfast. You introduce me to your friends, and everybody you know knows my name, even though they've never met me. You have very nice teeth and gorgeous blue eyes. You take me to the airport and pick me up when it's raining. You call me to let me know when the cheese I like is on sale. Your very beautiful condo is always impeccably clean, no cleaning ladies involved. You bring me veggies from your mama's garden. The second you first saw me I could see your eyes light up, and they still do every time.


You only just moved out of you parents house as you entered your 30's. You're kinda bald, although I suppose that's not your fault. Everything you eat is composed of butter, red meats, bleached white flour and high fructose corn syrup. And rye, yechk. You take a lot of medications...again maybe that's not fair, but meds just weird me out. How about cutting back on the buttered meats before popping the Lipitors? You tell me about your money troubles (we all have them), but then you buy an Audi? You won't come to my school so I can clean your teeth. You don't floss. You snore. You shave your chest (WHY on earth do men do this? For the bikini shoot that's coming up? I don't get it.) You use Pert Plus. Back to the Audi place too much importance on these things. A cottage, condo and a luxury vehicle are great, but why not live within your means and not be a gazillion dollars in debt? You would never honestly appreciate a (hypothetical) dinner I'd cook for you. You won't let me clean your teeth the second time I asked you to come in when a client didn't show for me. 

So maybe I'm being incredibly picky; and I probably just revealed a whole lot of my own  shortcomings. But I still can't stop thinking about him. Le sigh.


Betina said...

THe debt thing is BIG. Believe me. As far as the food goes, most men are very trainable... but the debt.... hmmm.

You are so funny NuNu!

Betina said...

At least he's not on insulin :)

Patience said...

hmmm I agree with the debt thing... "interest never sleeps" as J. Ruben Clark has "point"ed out. But, he could almost win it all with his mama's veggies. Broccoli vs. bucks.

Has he killed a monkey? Would he abandon you if mugged? That would be a real deal breaker for me.

Eve said...

Nawana.. when did you become so Hilarious?? Serioulsy you could write your own dear nunu newspaper column! Write on!